


Used to Love You Sober

by Jackyrackem



Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-09 01:39:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11094222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackyrackem/pseuds/Jackyrackem
Summary: One shot for the Heathen Army Friday Prompt (songs)





	Used to Love You Sober

Song: Kane Brown - Used To Love You Sober

 

Used To Love You Sober

 

Ivar awoke on the floor of the great hall with a fierce pounding in his head. For one glorious second, he had forgotten why he had been there. Then, just like every morning since it happened, his memory flashed before his eyes, and the heartbreak returned. He saw you as if it was happening before him; laying bloody on the field, an axe sticking out of your chest, bright red, thick blood gushing from the hole the axe had created. He saw you getting closer, as he crawled through the bodies before him, ignoring the moans of other vikings, only having eyes for you. He finally reached you after what seemed like an eternity, and got to hold you as you looked at him one last time. Your bright red hair fanned out around your head as if it was a halo of blood, your honey colored eyes staring at him with utter love, and an apology for your impending death on your lips.  
Ivar blinked the memory away, as tears filled his eyes once again. It had been two years since that day, and the first year without you, he had barely lived, not talking, rarely eating; a shell of the viking you had fallen in love with. Ivar had eventually become something like himself again, but more foolhardy than before. He cared not for glory, revenge, or a full life. He joined raid after raid, searching for someone to give him a warrior’s death so he could join you in Valhalla. In every battle, he would drive his chariot out before the army, slashing and hacking, screaming your name. And in every battle, he would see you in the midst of the enemy, brilliant hair flashing, almost tempting him to follow, a deadly hallucination. Yet he survived. When the army had returned to Kattegat, Ivar had spent every night drowning himself and his sorrow in drink. Everyone had learned to steer clear of him, and not even his brothers dared approach.  
Drink after drink, night after night, he drank to forget you, and he drank to dream of you. He would get lost in the memory of how you two had fallen for one another. He thought of all of the conversations you had shared, the dreams of battle, stories of childhood. He fell asleep every night almost feeling your arms around him, your hair brushing his shoulders, your scent enveloping him. He had tried to erase your memory by losing himself in other women, but they always turned in to you. He eventually stopped trying, it was not the same. They were all weak imitations, each trying to please him, but failing; when you two coupled, it was a battle, all energy and strength and fight.  
Ivar mustered his energy and crawled out of the Great Hall, ignoring everyone he passed. He crawled to the hill where you two would sit and observe Kattegat, climbing up on a rock to rest. He felt a warmth to his right, and his entire body felt engulfed in heat. He slowly turned his head, and his heart dropped. You were sitting right next to him, staring at him. Your hair glowed, and a light radiated from within you. He studied every aspect of your face; he had forgotten how beautiful you were. He could see your mouth moving, but could not make out what you were trying to say. He felt more warmth on his face as your ghostly visage reached out a hand to caress his tear-stained cheek. He saw a small smile form on your face, and from that touch, felt your love spread through his chest. He saw a flash, and you were gone. His body was numb again, and in that instant he hated you for leaving, and not taking him with you. He raised his face to the cold, bright sun, and cried out. He cursed the gods, he cursed you, and he cursed his inability to save you. He screamed so loud, he was sure you could hear him in Valhalla.


End file.
